Yes, Ma'am.

Dear all,

It has been a long time since my last post, and if you recall, it was an issue of children not doing the chores because they have a maid to do it all for them, resulting in children who will grow up having  very different values about life.

Today’s post is about maids, or rather, the treatment of maids that I have seen over the years.

Many of us have live-in maids today because our lives are such that we need a helping hand with the children and making sure that the house is running smoothly. We depend on live-in maids to keep our house clean, the children fed, the laundry washed, ironed and ready, the plants watered. Live-in maids are a necessity for many households as they help us with the chores so that we can go out to work knowing that the house will be taken care of, and generally, will be in a tip top condition by the time we get back from work. Many such families get along well with their maids and treat them like family, respect and trust them implicitly to do their job well. These maids are treated well – they are paid on time, get presents on special occasions and some more fortunate ones are even taken on holidays either locally or abroad. Yes, we have also heard of the horror stories of how these maids abuse our trust by running away, or mistreating our children etc, but does it justify us treating our maids badly? I have seen a lot over the years, and today, I would like to share with you some stories of how some people just mistreat their live-in maids as if slavery still rules the day.

First and foremost, the maids are there to help with the house chores so that we can focus on the things that matter – like spending more time with our children. However, there have been many cases when the maids become the children’s surrogate mother/parent. For example, I have seen a maid playing in the pool with two small children of the family she is working for, while the mother is sitting in the sun chair, reading magazines. Then, the mother shouts instructions to the maid who then disappears from the pool while the mother keeps an eye on her children from the comfort of her sun lounger. A while later, the maid is back, bearing a heavy tray of cold drinks and snacks. The mother then instructs her to go back to play with the children in the pool. The mother does not even go anywhere near the pool – she occasionally shouts at her children and the maid from where she is lounging. When the mother is tired, she asks the maid to round up the children. The maid towels them dry, and the mother walks away with the children, leaving the maid to collect and carry everything that is left behind – a big bag full of toys, magazines, the wet things as well as the tray of empty glasses and plates. I swear to god, the maid staggers under the weight of the number of things she has to carry upstairs. What is wrong with this picture?

Shopping outings are the same. I have seen many maids having to carry a bag of the child’s things on her shoulder, while is also laden with shopping bags in both her hands. What do the parents do? The father holds a child’s hand, while the mother carries only her handbag. The maid just trails behind this family with the most forlorn look on her face, tired from all the walking and carrying, possibly tired of the insensibility of it all. I have also seen a maid who always has to wait at the entrance of the mall while her employers go shopping. When I ask her, she says she is not allowed to look around the mall but has to wait there until they come back, for if she’s not there when they come, she’ll be in trouble. I watched her from afar as I was having my coffee, and the family she works for came back after a good two hours. The maid had to just wait there for two whole hours. I really just don’t see the point of that. Why wouldn’t they give her some money so she could get a coffee while waiting for them, rather than just standing there by the entrance for two solid hours? Once, when I was in the foodcourt having lunch, a family of three was seated at a table next to me, with their maid. The woman went to get food for everybody, and gave her maid a bowl of noodles, and they started eating. I thought ‘That’s nice.’ Then, as the maid was eating her noodles, the woman started picking out all the prawns, fishballs and vegetables from the maid’s bowl, leaving the maid only with the noodles and the soup. The maid caught my eyes, and looked away, obviously embarrassed that I had witnessed the cruelty of her employer. I just couldn’t believe my eyes, and felt so sad that people could be so mean.

When I was still attending classes at the university and returning home around 10pm, in the car park, I always saw a maid washing the cars. I asked her once why she’s still washing the cars so late at night and she said she was not allowed go to bed until she had done all her chores, including washing the two cars, and she could only wash the cars when her employers were finally home. If they came home late, then she would still have to wash the cars late. Once, I left something in the car and had to go back for it, and who did I see was still washing the cars at almost midnight? I said to her to go back and sleep, and she just gave me a sad smile.

I used to play golf with a man years younger than I am. Once, I gave him a ride home, and when we were about five minutes away from his condo, he called his maid and asked her to meet him outside the condo so that she could carry his golf bag upstairs (their condo is a walk-up). I was shocked that a strong man of 25 had asked his diminutive maid to carry his heavy golf bag for him. Yes, I judged him that day, and I’m not proud of it, but I hope that he has changed his ways now that he’s much older.

It is disheartening to realize that in this time and age, people are still being treated like slaves. We have heard of other stories of how the maids never get a day off, never allowed to leave the house, not allowed to make phone calls home, and the indignity of having to wear maid uniforms as well. I am appalled that we treat other human beings with so little respect and in such an inhumane manner, just because we pay them money (which is a pittance, by any standards). These brave souls leave their families and friends behind, and cross the oceans to go to foreign countries to find a better life for themselves and their families. It is a choice that nobody would make, not unless dire circumstances call for it. They are somebody's wife, mother, daughter, sister. It could be us. Would we not find it in our hearts to be more compassionate to these brave souls, and treat them better? After all, they are the ones cooking our food, looking after our children and keeping our house in a good running order, and generally making things easy for us, so isn’t it just appropriate that we reciprocate these acts of devotion by showing them a little more respect, a little more kindness? 

Comments are welcome.