Don't sweat the small stuff

 To those who do not know me, I am a Malaysian who has been living in Indonesia for over six months now, but I have met many characters in my…ehem…young life, as a result of having had the opportunities to live and work in different countries and see a bit of the world.

Dealing with cultures and people that are different from my own is in itself a lesson in self-discovery. A teacher to the core, I have hypothesized much, applied, failed, concluded, and hypothesized again. There is, as the cliché goes, no one-size-fits-all approach to life. You just wake up in the morning, experience life, and voila, you learn something about other people and more importantly, about yourself. Day in. Day out. You learn, and learn, and you learn some more.

I used to let the small things get to me, and let them sap the energy out of me. I got all worked up (and unfortunately I still do) when I was faced with problems that a little common sense could have solved. I cringed when I saw people dressed inappropriately to breakfast buffets, (and yes, I’m talking about you who wear your pajamas!). I seethed inside when I had to repeat myself three times to waiters/waitresses and they still got my order wrong. If looks could kill, the chef who overcooked my sunny side up eggs at breakfast would have died ten times over. I scolded the hotel housekeeping staff who rang the doorbell twice in rapid succession (give me a chance to get to the door, will you?). I heaved audibly painful sighs when the cut fruits in the bowls looked like they were not fit for human consumption. I moaned and complained when the queues at the supermarket were a mile long, when the checkout cashier was slow, when somebody cut in front of me. I flashed resentful looks when people smoked right next to my sun lounger at the pool, etc. etc. etc. Why are these idiots committing all these ‘crimes’ – punishable by death in my book, so god help us all if ever I became a law-enforcement of any kind, I swear to god you’re going down, and you’re going down hard!! How dare you do this to me? Shocking, I tell you. Shocking!!! Don’t you know I am an important hotel guest/ customer / person? I am better than you! My country is better than your country! So I strutted. I seethed! I complained! I looked down! I feigned shock!

I mean, OMG!!! What have I become? A snob, I tell you, a SNOB!! Not classy at all. Na’ah!

On one particularly trying day, a moment of self-reflection hit me smack in my face. I was appalled to realize the way I had behaved and treated people. It wasn't that I felt that I had been grossly mistreated, or that a great injustice has been done, but under the belief that my country-is-better-than-yours; under the guise that I am classier than you, I was in fact being… (gasp!!) a snob!! Yes. Guilty. I hang my head in shame. Granted, these are legit problems, but are they so big that they could not be solved? Could the chef make me another sunny side up? Yes. Could I have had a word with the store manager to open more cashiers? I could. Could I take that lounger over there away from those smokers? Absolutely! These are everyday problems, but they are not big enough to make me whine and seethe all day that I would require a relaxing massage ( or an oxygen mask!). These are nothing. These problems are petty.  A teeny weeny mole hill compared with the real issues people the world over struggle to survive everyday.

So, this new year 2013, I have decided to not sweat the small stuff anymore. However, this doesn’t mean that I will tolerate your rudeness, pettiness and least of all your whines. Far from it. But I want to live my life less encumbered by pettiness. I will take a look, and I will smile. I will be polite and be more patient. I will have a positive attitude. I will smile. I will show compassion. I will show understanding. I will speak more slowly and use a simple language that can be easily understood. I will be more culturally-aware. I will remove myself from annoying situations because I can do that, and because I do have a choice.

I will not sweat the small stuff anymore. Why? Because I have enough big stuff on my plate that warrant all my attention and energy on a daily basis.  So, I will just smile, and nod my head, and I will let the small stuff go.

And right now, that feels really good.