(Buffet) Breakfast at Tiffany's

I have been staying in hotels for most parts of this year, and have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do a lot of people-watching. It is indeed amazing that some people think it is OK to 'misbehave' because they are at the hotel, on holiday, or have paid for the room that sometimes common courtesy as well as common sense are checked out at the door the minute they check in at the hotel. There are too many trangressions to discusss, but for this piece, I have collected enough material to talk about...buffet breakfasts - or rather, what I have seen around buffet breakfasts.

 

I have indeed seen enough that I feel it necessary to make some ground rules for turning up at the breakfast restaurant for your sunny-side up:

 

1) Pajamas are for sleeping in

Believe it or not, what you wear to buffet breakfast matters! In a span of 6 months of my staying in various hotels, while the guests are different, the dressing is uncannily the same that sometimes I think that perhaps I am the misguided one because I must have missed the hotel handbook on what to wear to the breakfast buffet. I have seen too many pajamas in various states of 'rumpleness' worn at breakfast. I know some people in the fashion industry may have had a momentary loss of creativity that they are trying to sell the idea that hey, you know what? You can wear pajamas at any times and not only when you are going to bed - but I doubt by that they meant old, wrinkled pajamas with twinkle little stars motif on them and with a couple of holes in them to boot, and worse still, if you were at breakfast looking like you came straight out of bed, and that means dishevelled hair, unkempt, and  looking a right fright. Hardly the best way to start your day or other people's day! I am surprised I have not seen anybody with those flimsy paper-thin room slippers to breakfast. Oh wait. I HAVE!! And what is even scarier is the fact that so far these transgressors have been (gasps!!) women!! I mean, come on!

 

As my current abode is a resort hotel, the weekends are always the easiest time to spot these trangresssors.I have seen many men who have sauntered into the breakfast restaurant with nothing but a pool towel wrapped around their lower body. I would give you credit for your confidence and laissez-faire attitude about your shirtless torso.. but OK, if you looked like a Calvin Klein underwear model, I might not protest so much. Same goes with women who wear their swimsuit to breakfast, especially the ones with a skimpy tutu-like skirt that covers nothing, thank you very much. What are your motives, exactly? No, we don't look at you because we admire your derriere. We look at you and we quickly look away again because we are thinking What were YOU thinking? How could your parents let you go out looking like that...but sadly we realize that you are the parent. If you simply must wear your swim gear, at least have the decency to put on a pair of shorts or a nice sarong AND a top over it. And don't even think about coming in with your fins and snorkle masks either, unless you're planning on snorkelling in the fruit bowl cos I have news for you - Nemo has been found, and he is alive and well somewhere beyond the sea.

 

2) The hotel buffet will NOT run out of food

I am a big food lover. My family will tell you, my friends will tell you, and I don't deny it, so I am amazed to find that there are some people who are bigger food lovers than me. So much so that at breakfast buffets, they do all they can to get at the food. I have been shoved, I have had people cutting the queue, and I'm not talking about one rogue food lover but the whole clan ganged up on me, and some have even gone as far as claiming the two slices of bread that you have put into the toaster are in fact theirs. And then there is the issue of how much is too much? Some people have plates with mountainous amount of food piled up on them - eggs on chicken on sausages on stewed beef on veggie on rice on noodles; salad and salad and more salad,  muffins on cakes on danish pastries on donuts; watermelon on melon on rock melon - you get the idea. And some people even go back for more when they have not even finished what's on their plate, or plates, as the case may be. People, calm down. If there is no more food, the hotel kitchen will cook some more. It is such an obscene sight to behold, and more than anything, it is sad that some people justify having paid for the buffet, it gives them a divine right to become gluttons.

 

3) There are other breakfasters in here...

The breakfast restaurant is a public place, and like you, we have also paid for the service. Be considerate of other people, and respect each other's space. One morning while I was having breakfast in a nice restaurant, I suddenly noticed that the relaxing soft, background music had changed to a loud children's theme song of Old MacDonald had a farm...E,I,E,I,O!! And in his farm he had some chicks...E,I,E,I,O! You get the drift. I thought it was a strange choice of music, until I realized that it came from a neighbouring table at which sat a woman with her toddler. The woman was texting on the phone, and was happy to leave the child with her baby computer with songs and games, and was not thinking that perhaps other people would like to start their day with a bit of peace  and quiet, and not be bombarded first thing in the morning with loud kiddies songs just so her child would not disturb her while she chat with her friend on the phone. On many occasions, I have had the misfortune of being seated next to people who think it is OK to talk at the top of their voices that the whole restaurant could hear every minute detail about her last holiday, shopping spree, last night's conquests, big contracts they have won, _______, yes, fill in the blank.  Do respect other people's right to be there, and speak quietly to your breakfast companions, and by for god's sake, put the phone down and do not let the computer babysit your child.

 

So these are a few ground rules at the breakfast table. Now, can I have my fried eggs over easy, please?